On January 1st of 2020, I visited a very familiar cafe: Maison Mathis in New Haven.

I ordered avocado toast. At first, I did not realize why I ordered something that I could make so easily at home. But, it dawned on me that I miss the memories that are associated with the cafe, not its food (even though the food is delicious).

Being in Connecticut reminded me that my undergraduate years are over. And that is okay. I cannot keep comparing graduate school to what I felt in undergraduate. Life does not work that way. Comparison is not healthy.

However, memories are important and should be treasured. For me, memories and expectations for the future come in fragments.

Photo from Unsplash by NordWood Themes

This is my last blog post of 2019.

Wow. What a year it has been. I am sure that I am not alone in this sentiment, but 2019 was a wacky year. It has been one of the best and worst years of my life. I traveled and had many incredible experiences. I also felt alone and fought countless battles.

I learned so much about myself and this year forced me to grow.

Photo from Unsplash by Steve Halama

I’m a romantic and that is a hard type of person to be in today’s world. People come and go. Apps rule our lives. And it seems like no one cares about trying anymore.

At the same time, a commitment of marriage scares me so much. Finding your person sounds amazing, but what if your person hurts you? People can hurt you so easily. I know that I should try to look on the bright side, but a lifelong partnership is quite daunting. It really puts pressure on an individual.

I have written many poems about love, but I'll treat you to one of them today.

Photo from Unsplash by Todd Kent

My first semester of graduate school is almost over. Living in the Boston area has been great. However, there are some moments where I miss the slower moments. And a caring atmosphere. As nice as it is to live in an exciting area, it's not always glamorous.

Photo from Unsplash by Jimmy Chang

This week, I have been thinking about impact. Yesterday, I attended a student art exhibit at Harvard University. The art exhibit was on Islamic art. The methods that students used to portray Islam in art were very creative and insightful.

I learned quite a lot, including that it is believed that Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) favorite color was green. Art can express such interesting information in an engaging manner.

I appreciated this exhibit because my relationship with my faith is a complex one. I’ll be the first to admit that I am not religious.

I question Islamic as well as Ismaili practices frequently. But for me, that is part of the learning process. And it allows me to work towards being religious.

To answer my questions, I enjoy reading texts and talking to people who have a better understanding of faith. I am eternally grateful for my religion because it encourages questions.

I like to believe we are all part of something bigger. Just like how a drop of water is part of something bigger. Here is my poem called “Droplet.”

Like many people, I love F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Luckily for me and other fans of the show, Boston had a pop-up dedicated to this popular show. The pop-up featured facts about the show, props that were used, and there were plenty of photo opportunities!

The concept of friendship has always been interesting to me. It seems that friendships are harder to navigate than romantic relationships. Maybe because it is harder to tell a friend when they have upset you.

People always mention fights with significant others. There are many romantic relationship experts who give amazing advice about how couples can cope with struggles. But, it seems like there are fewer discussions regarding how one can better friendships.

Here is a short poem that I wrote about the uglier side of friendship.

So, I have been meaning to go to an intellectual event (through Boston University) for the longest time. This week, I finally had the opportunity. And I’m so grateful that I attended this event.

At the event, journalist Dan Rather answered questions about politics, life, and his book. Rather is extremely wise and I had the opportunity to get What Unites Us signed by him.

Lately, I have been struggling to find love for the country of my birth: the United States of America. Mostly because I feel like I have to constantly defend that I deserve the American Dream as well. And I should not have to...but being a Muslim woman of color, people make me feel like I’m an outsider.

Anyways, Rather’s words had me thinking. Here is a poem I wrote called “Shift the perspective.”

Hi it’s me and I am just trying to make it until Thanksgiving.

It’s getting awfully cold in the Northeast and my seasonal affective disorder is kicking in… to top it all off, my first semester of graduate school is nearly over. The final stretch is always the hardest when it comes to school.

During this stressful time, it’s hard to make time for yourself and be yourself. Usually on Thursday nights, I stay up doing work for school and write for the blog. But, I was so exhausted that I went to bed early. And it felt great.

Now, too much sleep is not good for you. But, it is important to recognize what your body needs. For me, it’s usually sleeping, reading a book, going to brunch, exercising, and cooking. You need to do things that bring joy into your life.

Many of us pretend like we are fine. However, behind closed doors… we are not fine. Here is a poem that I wrote called “Functional depression.”

On November 2, I went to Salem. Hey, I know that I didn’t go in October… but it was less crowded so whatever :)

The trip was amazing. We learned about the magic present in Salem through a wonderful tour. Learning about how many people, especially women, were oppressed during the witch trials was sad and disheartening.

The trip made me think of how women are still oppressed today. Often, their behavior is dictated by men.

Here is a poem that I wrote about how women are expected to act around men. Growing up, I was always told to act a certain way to avoid unwanted attention from men. Yet, these males are never asked to change their own behavior.

Recently, I went to Taiyaki NYC.

I actually went to two locations...one in New York City and the other in Boston. I would highly recommend this place. The ice cream was delicious and melted into your mouth! I do not like ice cream that’s too cold.

However, I could not get over all the juxtaposition of the “fish” and ice cream. It’s a cool concept, but funny when you really think about it. It makes no sense. The “fishes” are either filled with red bean or custard, which surprisingly, does not taste awful!

The contrast made me think deeper, as I always do :)

Here’s a poem about laughter and sadness. Two things that do not make sense together. The inspiration for this poem came from the fact that I tend to laugh when I’m uncomfortable. It’s a really bad habit, but laughing is my coping mechanism.

I had the opportunity to check out New York City’s WonderWorld pop-up.

WonderWorld describes itself as “a place for the naïve. It's a cradle of dreams and a story that never ends.” My time in WonderWorld made me think about the impact dreams have on humans. Here is a poem that I wrote entitled “Dream.”

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to explore some of Boston’s local museums. And wow. There is some amazing talent in the world.

Although, I am not “artistic” in the traditional sense, I am artistic through my writing. The emotions that I feel as a writer seem to be similar to those artists who express themselves so beautifully. Here is a poem that I wrote about what writing means to me.

Some tips that will help you find your inner Hemingway, Angelou, or Shakespeare.

My mindfulness journey has not been smooth sailing, but that's okay.

A few years back, I visited India for the very first time. Being Indian, the emotions I felt were extremely strong. Here is a poem that I wrote about my experience.